Areopagitica

It’s official… I suck at painting. I tried to paint a wing with acrylics… I decided my best bet was to put a light base layer and build on that. Guess what failed epicly! I now have a big wing-shaped acrylic paint blob.

My plan to paint the next layers over it also failed miserably. I’d post pictures, but the fail would be too much for your fragile little minds. I just can’t be responsible for that

Stream of thought time!

It often feels as if I were wearing a mask, I want to take it off, I hate it… but, it’s been there so long that it’s become a part of me in a sense… like a tree will grow through a chain link fence.

When I do manage to let it drop, after a bit, I get the urge to run away. The sad thing is, I like myself without the mask, far better than with… I do not like that person… it’s a stowaway, it has no right here.

Or maybe that IS me, and I just don’t want to face that…

Why have no other lifeforms on the face of the planet evolved to anywhere near the same state as humans?  And no I do NOT consider apes or dolphins or anything else considered highly intelligent for an animal as being near to human intellect. Yes I know they can count and learn languages and paint and all that; and studies have been done showing animals displaying an iq level equal to a 3 year old and what not. Well; when a group of monkeys goes and nabs some random people from cities to perform scientific experiments on them instead of only ever being subjects, then you can come talk to me.

I’m staring at a skull, this isn’t unusual for me. You can understand the shape and movement of a creature much better by studying it’s bones.

Of course, that has nothing to do with why I’m staring at this particular skull, the skull of a muntjac deer. I’m staring at it because I know it wants to become something else, but it isn’t telling me what. Sure, I could just pick something at random to do to it, to change it, but it would be like trying to jam a jigsaw piece into hole it doesn’t match. Sometimes I think I know what it wants, and I draw it, and it’s just wrong and the frustration makes me take even longer to see what should actually be there.

Oh but it’s a wonderful feeling when I do see it, unless its when I have no way of recording it… say as I’m falling asleep, or I’m stuck somewhere with no pen or paper or computer, etc. Then I usually forget what the idea was, but not the nagging realization that the idea was there, and that it was just beyond reach. Most of all, that it was good…

So, I’m asking this skull wants to be, I’ve made some modifications, but it isn’t being very forthcoming. Now does anyone have a photo of an eyeball being clutched in the grasp of an eagle’s talons? Preferably just on the verge of drawing blood? No… ?

Mostly because there’s a little plastic cage thing filled with the little bastards sitting beside me. They’re scrabbling their little asses off. You might wonder why I have a little thing full of crickets beside me, well, they’re for the gecko. After much investigation, and desire to have a lizard, Josh and I decided upon a Crested Gecko. They’re hardy, they don’t require special lighting or excessive heat, and they’re damned adorable.

I have yet to name him… or her… or whatever it is. He’s tailless… until it grows back (he was pre-molested, I didn’t do it, and Josh felt bad for him and apparently became more convinced to “save” him.)

I think Josh might be pregnant… he eats the strangest shit… Hmm, maybe THAT’S why goats love him. Seriously… who uses cottage cheese as dip for salt and vinegar chips?

I’ve been trying to paint night skies, I’m thinking of making that the background for my Hookah Angel. I haven’t worked on her in a while, because I’m no longer certain how to continue, and I’m afraid of ruining her.

Alas, I won’t start bitching about my illogical paranoias again here.

I was accepted into the college I want… unfortunately its for the wrong course.

I have an admission to make, I’m afraid of oil paints… I’ve always been, I used to be afraid of all paints, but I’m getting over that… Oils still frighten me; I’m afraid of ruining my brushes, having to mix the paint with smelly stuff and all of that. If you’ve read my previous blog about my latest art supply delivery, you’ll know I ordered oil paints with which to experiment. I decided to sort of go halfway, I chose water soluble oil paints, so no smelly stuff and I can wash my brushes with soap and water. No turpentine! Yay! Shit still scares me though…

I found this site, Bill Martin’s Guide to Oil Painting, which I’ve found to be the best beginner’s guide on the net so far. You should check out the link to his gallery, he’s done some amazing paintings.

I recently sent applications to some local colleges to enroll in Foundations in Art & Design courses, or similar. I’m still waiting to hear from my first choice, but I’ve been accepted into my second choice, so I’m all giddy about that. The campus is in downtown Toronto, and is an easy, if rather long, commute. My first choice would be a much shorter, much easier commute, but since I sent my applications, I’ve had this strange feeling I’m going to end up at George Brown. Hopefully I’m wrong as I really would rather have my first choice.

So, instead I’m going to post a swirly fish. I have others as some of you may know. This one is pen and ink + watercolour paint. First I drew in scales with a watercolour pencil, then I washed over it with a brush and water and brought the colour out into the fins.

While I was doing some other work I discovered a method of making speckles for the fish. After the wash dried, I sprayed it with Kamar Varnish, about 3 coats, let it dry and then using a nice fat brush, I just coat on more watercolour paint, which then beads up. Once the beads dry they leave a pattern I like, I then spray it with varnish again and add another colour if I decide to and so on and so forth.

Seeing that I feel like a giant bucket-o-crap, I’m going to finish there. (I could blame yesterday’s lack of an entry on that, but tbh, my computer ate it and I was too pissed off to do it again)

My latest order from Curry’s has arrived, and like a child at Christmas, I tore open the box and proceeded to present my booty to Josh. He was far less enthralled than I, but liked the bubble wrap used in it. I’ve become a little annoyed at the limitations of my talent in watercolour painting, so I ordered some acrylic and oil paints to practice with. Be prepared to see new versions of kittens and fish!

The love affair continues with Creepy Deer, I’ve mostly been working on shading. It’s difficult to stop once I start, I become engrossed in it. “Just a bit more here, ooh and there, ooh and there!”

Here’s Creepy Deer V.2 I still have no idea what to put as the lure…

 

 

 

Yes he’s my current crush… while I was looking for angler fish photos (and to see if there were perhaps another creepy critter I could take inspiration from) I discovered some disturbing beasties…

Like the Goblin Shark, which looks like a cross between a shark and pinocchio, which, while a little goofy looking, is not all that off putting. Then, it goes to bite  something, and becomes a whole new level of, “Yet another reason I never want to swim in the ocean.”

Nom nom nom!

I’m thinking of using an assassin spider as a model for the body of creepy deer, and perhaps using that for my work in progress, a skeleton/evil carousel. I think it could work… so far it’s the thing that has felt most correct, I just don’t see creepy deer with a deer skeleton body.

One of the absolutely most disgusting creatures I discovered was the Tongue Eating Parasite. It looks like the result of pillbug on grub love, with a sickly white plated exoskeleton. This adorable little bugger slips into fish through their gills, and feasts upon their new buddy’s tongue. Having gotten to know one another rather intimately, TEP replaces the tongue he ate, feeding on the fish’s mucus, blood and food matter. They are a member of the isopod family, a crustacean, although it looks like a bug. Imagine buying/catching a fish for dinner and finding that thing in it. I don’t think I’d ever eat anything again, let alone fish.

How do you know if sour cream has gone bad?